Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Problem areas/Proverbs 6

I tend not to write about problem areas much. In fact, I post more pictures than anything. Sometimes when you try to share about something going on, someone will leave a rude comment about it. But a lot of junk has been going on here for a long, long time. At first it was two children and then one was removed to a home for troubled youth with the hope that he could get some intensive help and that they other one would have the chance to start over and make better decisions.

But that hasn't happened. He has become increasingly disobedient, defiant, dishonest and disrespectful. And it's not just at home, it's at school too. He has limited his options for school next year by his choices. Our school system has some charter programs that allow for outside projects, leadership school, trips to NY and to Europe. If you follow the program, you have a 100% tuition scholarship to college and most of the students receive scholarships to cover room and board also. My two oldest transferred into the public school too late to do this but not child #4. He starts high school next year.

However, he has 8 parent alerts--no, make it nine--I just now received an e-mail from his teacher that he was "sticking out his tongue in a very provacative way." He has been doing some sexual acting out so that's not a total surprise. He has three in school detention days and two out of school suspension days. The high school program is not interested in him. They said, "We are not intested in having this type student in our program." Sad.

In counseling today the counselor was trying to get him to see that his choices are not getting him where he wants to be later. He was very rude to her. His comments were:
"That's what you say."
"How would you know anything anyway."
"You think you know that."
And so on.
The bottom line was that the "bad" things he is doing--stealing, lying, disobeying, being rude to teachers and disruptive in class aren't all that bad. They aren't as bad as so & so. And the kids think he is funny when he breaks the rules.

This morning we did not read our normal devotion book but I shared from Proverbs chapter 6 in the New Living Translation.

It is called "Lesson in Life" in this Bible. Verses 6-11 are about laziness:
6 Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and become wise! 7 Though they have no prince or governor or ruler to make them work, 8 they labor hard all summer, gathering food for the winter. 9 But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up? 10 A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— 11 then poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber.

Verses 12-19 talk about things that displease the Lord in a major way.
12 What are worthless and wicked people like? They are constant liars, 13 signaling their deceit with a wink of the eye, a nudge of the foot, or the wiggle of fingers. 14 Their perverted hearts plot evil, and they constantly stir up trouble. 15 But they will be destroyed suddenly, broken in an instant beyond all hope of healing.
16 There are six things the Lord hates— no, seven things he detests: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, 18 a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, 19 a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.

We talked about each of the seven things that God hates and how that looks when it happens in a family.

And then we talked about how Rick and I have to keep our lives right because we are the guides for the children.
20 My son, obey your father’s commands, and don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. 21 Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk, their counsel will lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up, they will advise you. 23 For their command is a lamp and their instruction a light; their corrective discipline is the way to life.

I was really hoping that God's Word would hit home. I shared that these are not my rules or even good ideas but the very Word of God and the standard He sets for us. But the bottom line is that my son has so much junk in his heart, that he does not care. It is a big responsibility and a burden to parent a child who is set in his ways--wrong ways--and unwilling to listen.

And even as I was typing that paragraph the vice principal called that there has been another incident at school and he will now go to Saturday school.

Pray that I will still act in grace. God's mercies are new every morning but it is a little more difficult for me!


Christine said...

Hi Kathy. Big hugs. I am emailing you now.

One Crowded House said...

Kathy- I have no good advice- but I do think you are doing an awesome job of sharing God's word with your children.... I will be praying for some light bulbs to go on in his head and heart!!!

Terry said...

((((Hugs))))) I am so sorry. And I just want to say if you feel you have failed, YOU HAVEN'T! And he IS listening to you. Even if it doesn't seem so. He hears what you are saying. The Word of God doesn't return void...That's a promise. Don't give up hope in what the Holy Spirit can do to his heart as he grows. Right now he is young and foolish and has no concept of the future. His brain doesn't automatically think that way-and may never until he is well into his twenties. And built up testosterone has a lot to do with it as well. I don't say that as a joke. Get him out doing something extremely physical, I know that's easier said than done for some. But, it helps a lot with teenage boys. Maybe make it a manditory running laps around the block...or around the park where you can keep an eye on him :-)

I'm sorry, I don't want to sound preachy...I hope I don't. I'll pray for you all.

Kathy said...

Thanks for your comments. Those are good thoughts Terry. I know you have grown boys.

Anonymous said...

I think you are doing an AWSOME job.
Keep up the good work.