Thursday, October 13, 2016

Child 9?

Yes, there may be a number nine. We have felt for a long time that there was an empty spot in the family. But our state is not easy to work with. They are much easier now that we are looking for a teenage boy!

Our children go like this:
Ashley    33
Tyler       26
Jessica     25
Jeff          23
Adam      21
Jasmine   15 
twins       11

Jasmine is so much younger than the original four that she never had a playmate. Ty and Jess played together, and Jeff and Adam played together. We tried to adopt from the state and nothing. So we adopted from Haiti. I should have realized that by getting twins and them being four years younger that they wouldn't be her playmates, but it seemed like they belonged in our family. And they do!

About 18 months after they came home, a caseworker in Daytona Beach who had our very outdated home study wanted to place a child with us. But our county and their county did not see eye to eye on things, and he was placed in a home she wasn't as sure about. A year later he was back on the list and we went through the same thing. But he has since then gotten a family.

Jasmine has wanted a brother near her age. There is one child she wants who is closer to the twins' age, but she likes his looks, description and hobbies. However, he may be snatched up before we complete class and get our home study. We have to do the class because they switched from MAPPS to QPT plus we are 8 years outdated! We have finished week 3 out of 8.

There are four children we are looking at. Two are five hours away, and two are farther. We don't know if they will be a good match or if they would be willing to move. Plus there is the chance someone else may choose them. 

Since they are already on the photo listing which is public, I'll post their photos here. Two are 15, one is 14 and one is 12. The problem with the 15's is that they could be 16 by time we get them and we'd only have two years to really parent them. Of course if they turned out to be awful, we'd only have two years :) One wants to go into the marines. The 12 year old is only 11 months older than the twins, so I'm not sure about that. But he looks like an amazing kid. Wish he was a year older!
Christian, 15

Justin, 15

Parris, 12

Antwan, 14

What do you think? I'd be in trouble if I had to choose between these four. I want them all!!!!! Good thing a caseworker will be the one to decide if we are the best family for any of them. We also have to realize that things might not go as planned and for some reason we don't get a child. Sigh.

Those of you who have adopted teens, what do I need to know? How did you prepare?


Emily said...

We have a dear friend who adopted a 14-year-old boy. They got him from the hospital where he was staying because he had gotten his jaw broken in a fight at his group home. They had a rough first few months with him, but were loving, firm, and approached everything very logically and matter-of-factly. He just turned 18, and he is one of the most incredible young men I've ever known. He received Christ at 15, and his whole life turned around. He's an amazing big brother, a loyal friend, a spokesperson for older child adoption, and just earned his Eagle Scout. I really look forward to the day when our kids are older. Matt and I are planning on adopting teens. I can't wait to see who God has in mind for your family!

Felicia said...

I don't post much on my blog about how our daughter is doing because of her privacy. However, it was a struggle. She lived in an abusive relationship for 16 years so the lying that she learned to cope was terrible. We adopted her at 17 and she left at 18. I wish that we would have had just a little loinger to show her what a family was. She went to her mom who never parented her. Her biomom was better than us because she doesn't care if she takes care of her baby or not. She also doesn't have any rules. I feel like it is still a changing situation and I don't know where it will end. I love her and want to have a healthy relationship with her but at this time she is more interested in lying to me and trying to get money from me. Long story to say that it is hard to get that good relationship in less than 2 years! But like you said, if they are a problem they will be gone sooner!

Kathy Cassel said...

Emily, after all you've been through I don't think teens will be a big deal! Pray us in the right child.

Kathy Cassel said...

Felicia that is so hard. And one of my fears with getting one only a couple of years from leaving. I like Justin, but he's the oldest. He looks a bit like Ty. Having Antwan or Parris would be an advantage because they are younger.

Catherine said...

Antwan seems like the right match for your family to me. No great reasoning. I will pray that the caseworks judgement is lead by the highest power!

Kathy Cassel said...

Antwan is the one we know the least about. I'll share more about that later.