Friday, April 15, 2011

More Issues

Last time I started to write about the adult children but got sidetracked talking about some of the issues here right now. I can tell you this, they have not gotten better. In fact, after grounding Jeff from his bike for repeated violations including running red lights, no helmets, ear phones in, disrupting traffic, light off after dark even though there is one on the bike etc, Jeff went and bought another bike. Rode it home no helmet, ear phones in his ears. (Yep, that is illegal in most states).

I told him to ride it back to the store and he said we could not boss him around and could not keep him from riding it. It got really, really ugly as he shouted over everything I tried to tell him. He tried to take off on the bike, but not to return it and I made him get back in the house. Normally I let him go where ever but I could tell he was looking for trouble. I told him not to make me get the sheriff to bring him back because his recruiter would not like hearing that. Only thing I have to hold over him.

Rick woke him up at 6 this morning to return the bike before he left for work. Jeff absolutely refused to get up so Rick just stood there telling him to get out of bed until he finally did. He was not happy. Rick drove him and the bike to Walmart. Jeff wanted Rick to leave--obviously so he could keep the bike.

Rick stayed and then dropped him off to take care of something and instructed him to go to work not back to the house. (He threatened to trash our stuff and made a few other threats earlier).

Anyway, for safety reasons and because he absolutely refuses to acknowledge our authority in any way (and he will be 18 in a week), Jeff is leaving Saturday night to stay with a man he knows from the home for troubled youth he was at. He is very angry with us about this but he has no choice. With turning 18 next week, we could just ask him to leave. But we are sending him to someone we know can keep him safe and who Jeff will listen to. This man has not seen the side of Jeff we have because he will be charming unless you cross him. His emotions are very superficial. I worry about any female that may fall for him because I do not think he is able to attach but she may not know that until too late or may not understand what the problem is.

Unfortunately the little ones witnessed all of the things going on and we need to help them work through it all.

In Jeff's favor, he is a hard worker and he seems to have set some goals for his adult life. If he stays focused, he should be able to reach them.

Okay, so I'm going to end this and I promise that the next post will be me bragging on my almost-adult and adult children.


One Crowded House said...

I am glad you found a safe responsible person for him to stay with in the mean time....

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

PRAYING....sounds very tough.

Lisa said...

Making those decisions for the safety of everyone involved is tough, but you're doing the right thing - you're good parents. Praying for your family.

Hevel said...

I adore how you just plainly refuse to give up on Jeff. I do hope he will be able to stay focused and have the life you always dreamt of for him.

Renee said...

I am so sorry. You are amazing parents.