Sunday, November 7, 2010

Crew Updates 2

Yesterday I took a child to counseling. We'll call the child ding dong to protect his identity. Well, ding dong is very charming and somewhat manipulative. Some of you know exactly what I mean because you are there right now.

Well, ding dong told the counselor that he has C's, D's and Fs because I won't sign for him to bring a computer home. It is true that I won't sign for a computer and pay the $75 to do so. There are two reasons for that. One is that he has annihilated two computers by accessing filth. One was a lap top only a year old that belonged to sibling who bought it with personal money. All his school work was lost. (Yep, he knows to back up but hadn't). The second reason is because ding dong has a computer at school and the administrator has assured all parents that if the kids stay on task there is plenty of time to finish their work at school. But Ding Dong would rather socialize. But he didn't tell his counselor that he spends his time running questionable song lyrics and such.

He did, however, tell her that I haven't given him permission to use the shared computer in the dining room. What he didn't tell her is that he has never once asked to use it or said he has any homework that needs a computer. Why? Because he hasn't ever brought any homework home that requires a computer. But he'd rather have her think he can't do well because he is so deprived. He was sitting there in new tennis shoes, south pole jeans, a new south pole thermal shirt and a new OP jacket. But she somewhat bought his poor me act. That disappoints me. She's always been able to sort out the nuggets of truth from the lies and junk behaviors before. I pick him up and all of a sudden she's telling me, "He needs a computer to access the Internet." I told her about our shared computer that is clearly visible and can be used. That's when I found out about him saying he's not allowed to use it. And by the way, she's the one who said just four weeks ago not to let him on any computer because of his strong addiction and at that time I told her about the shared one for homework and he never at that time said anything about needing it.

Then, totally opposite from everything she's previous said, she starts with, "He needs to be allowed to do this and this and this."

What??????? With Cs, Ds and Fs? With lying and manipulating? With breaking trust? That wasn't the deal (which she helped set in place). If you can't keep up with your two chores and your school work am I really going to complicate your life by giving you privileges that require 10 hours a week extra at practice? Ding dong really worked a number on her. I don't know if he has true attachment issues or just a very strong sense of entitlement. AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On to other things....

Jasmine has switched from ballet to Jazz so she now has tap and jazz back to back right before church choir making Wednesday her crazy day. We have it worked out that I go and get her a kid's meal near the end of class, and she pulls her GA shirt over her dance pants and off we go. We have 15 minutes from when dance ends and choir starts. Good thing the dance academy and the church are at the same end of town.

She still has softball Tuesdays and Thursdays but it has turned out not to be a good program at all. There is so much fighting among the girls on the team. I wrote about that last time. Since then, half the girls and two out of three of the coaches quit with only three weeks left. It's rained since then so there haven't been games, and I don't know if there will be enough players to finish the season. I would NOT recommend this league to anyone. No team pictures, no end of year party, trophies etc. Jasmine seems to enjoy it anyway. I think we will stick with fall soccer and spring softball which is a much bigger and hopefully better ran program. But she can't do any spring sports this year due to the surgeries in December and March/April. She needs 8 more prayer partners for her mission trip next summer.

Having twins has been interesting. I know it's not at all the same as identical twins and it's not the same as having them from birth. But it is very interesting to see the similarities and differences. Like, both are very social and talkative. Both love books and play dough.

They are different too. Kaleb is much, well, lazier. If they go out to jump on the trampoline, Kayla jumps and Kaleb sits. If they play a running game, Kaleb will play a few minutes and drop out.

Previous to coming home, Kayla was first to talk and walk and she mothered Kaleb. He seemed much more delayed than she was. Maybe because she did everything for him? Once she came home, I became the mother and they both had to feed and dress themselves and learn the routine. Kayla learned more quickly to put shoes and jacket on and to get her backpack for school and to reverse that when she came home.

(picture is from '07)

But now Kaleb, although behind in his social behaviors at school--grabs kids, won't stay in line etc--has pulled way ahead of Kayla academically. He knows 15 of 15of the letters they have covered and the sounds. He knows 9 out of 20 sight words which I think is really good because it's a bit ridiculous to have this much work this early in the year, he can identify numbers 1-10, sort of write them (6 and 8 are a challenge) and count to 20. The teacher says he's below grade level but 9 months ago this child didn't speak English, probably couldn't have sat still for ten minutes during a lesson and didn't write anything. He could sing the alphabet and count a little bit in English when he came home though. I think he's doing great. He just needs to work on those quirky behaviors.

Kaleb has his glasses now but doesn't see the specialist until Dec 20. That's the only appt they had in a four month window because she just comes here once a month. I hope his appt is not right during his class party.

(June 07, not 04 like it says on the picture)

Kayla seems to be struggling with identifying letters and numbers. She receives 1/2 hour tutoring on letters each day and can now identify 4 of 15 and about 6 of the sounds. She can count, but can't identify any numbers by sight. I think there's a glitch in her learning somewhere, but that's something they will have to test for and they say it's too early. Time will tell.

So that's it for now!


One Crowded House said...

did you ask ding dong's counselor why she was now changing all of the things that she told you to do before?? Yes- it seems like he definitely played the "poor me" card during their meeting.

Kathy C. said...

I don't think she keeps track of what she says. She had changed her suggestions before but never so in favor of suddenly expanding his privileges etc. We are slowly expanding them as we see him making an effort. Like, he can go out for basketball by showing me that he can keep his grades and home jobs up now. Things like that.

Karen said...

Kathy, you have a full house as always! God bless!

Renee said...

Wow, that is unbelievable. So sorry she put you into a harder situation.

That pic of Jasmine as a wee one is beyond adorable!