Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Not Ready

Ever have a child that just seems to sabotage himself? One of mine has a hard time earning trust. Not long ago he snuck out on his bike, so it has been locked up in the shed. He seemed to be doing a little better, so last night I was talking with the child about getting some privileges back. Also talked about some activities coming up. Not an hour later I hear my trac phone turn on loudly. I only carry it on trips and Jessica had turned the ring tone to the highest volume so we'd hear it in the car.

I said, "That was my phone."
Child: "I didn't hear anything."
Me: "It was my phone. Did you take my phone?"
Child: "No."
Me: "Why did I hear my phone turn on?"
Child: "I didn't hear anything."
I walk to the kitchen and look under the wall phone where it had been.
Me: "My phone was right here and it's gone."
Child: "I didn't take it."
Me: "You had to take it. It was just here and it's gone."
Child: "I didnt' take it. Look my pockets are empty."
Well, since I'd heard it turn on, it was on, so I just picked up the wall phone and dialed it. It rang from about six inches behind him on the backpack shelf where he'd hidden it.
Child: "How'd it get there?" very perplexed.
Me: "WHY did YOU take my phone."
Child: Shrug, absolutely no emotion or remorse.

Obviously he is not ready for the particular privileges we were discussing. They require him to be where he says he will be when he says he will be and I can't trust him to do that right now. It's sad that not only does he do these things, but that there is no remorse. He could have confessed when I first said I'd heard the phone turn on. But even this morning there is no remorse for taking the phone and lying about it repeatedly.


Bill and Christina said...

It's exhausting isn't it.

Salzwedel Family said...

That's tough Kathy. I have a self-sabotaging sibling and it's hard to watch them make bad choices over and over and over.

Karen said...

Kathy, that just breaks my heart. Will continue in prayer. (hugs)