This and That

This was taken November 1. We read through the book of Proverbs in October, a chapter a day. We've done this the past 5 or so years. Then we celebrate completing it by getting carry out food or going out to eat.

This year we went to Taco Bell for breakfast.

Then we went to The Giver at the $2 theater. Jasmine and I had seen it before. It's a good movie but not totally true to the book. They tried to make it more like Divergent or Hunger Games, and they didn't need to. It would have been fine as it was.

Later in the day there was a fall festival at the church where Jasmine has County Christian Youth Choir.

Only a few of the kids showed up to sing. There are kids from 20 different churches in the choir.

Science fair project is done and turned in.

Now we are starting the history fair project. The theme this year is leaders and legacies. Jasmine submitted a request to either do her project on Walt Disney or Louie Armstrong. Both left strong legacies. But her teacher tends to shoot down our interesting ideas and give her something boring. Like last year she wanted to do Ruby Bridges but ended up doing court cases that influenced school desegregation!! So, here's hoping for an interesting project this year. I feel a field trip coming on if she gets to do either of the topics she submitted.

Any one else in the midst of science or history fair projects?

Some of the stuff I talked about a couple posts back about Kayla that happened at school affected Jasmine, and she was really upset. (One problem of having siblings in the same school.) Jasmine was really down, so Jessica came over and got her and took her to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the $2 theater for a sister date.

I took Jessica to see "The Best of Me" at the regular theater the day before. It was sad!! Are all Nicholas Sparks' movies sad?? I put a bunch on my netflix list and may need to buy tissues.

I took Jasmine to Dolphin 2 to celebrate finishing her science project.

The dogs decided to come in and nap on the couch! 

They were all asleep when I went to take the pictures, but of course they heard me and had to see what I was doing.

I have some pictures from this morning (Veteran's Day), but I'll post them next time.

Jessica's Wedding

It was less than 12 minutes from the time Ty and I hit the sand until the attendants exited.

Bad Week!

I have a few pictures of activities to post, but decided to share honestly how the days since the wedding have been instead. I know there are people who think blogs should be all happy and sunny. Well, that's not this blog this time, so if you're looking for something happy, go elsewhere. If you are looking for the real deal "this is the reality of adopted kids" with a lot of details withheld to protect the not-so-innocent, read on.

After the wedding and after the guests left, it got quiet around here. And we've had some not so good behaviors. In fact, lately they've been pretty horrible. There hasn't been enough room to write everything in the planners! For one child, this has been the way it's been most of the year, not so much for the other.

Here's one example. This happened right before the wedding. K comes to me and says a girl in her (4th grade) class in having "girl problems." I ask her what kind. She didn't know. So I decide to turn this into a teachable moment because you moms know you can't wait until they are 12 anymore. I explain a little, and she is looking at me like I'm making it all up. So I give her "The Body Book." I explain that the pictures aren't to be laughed at, they are to help her understand. And that because it is a personal matter, the book is to stay in her room, and she is free to ask me about any of it.

The next day she sneaks the book out and starts showing it around on the bus. When they arrive at school, she gets off the bus chasing girls trying to make them look at pictures of pubic hair. (The book covers every part of puberty for girls 9-13 or so and has detailed drawings of how to insert a tampon). Why they didn't take the book and call us right then I don't know. I guess they told her to put it back in her bag and take it home. But she LOVES shock value. So it went to lunch with her. She got caught and tried to tell them she'd brought it to help the girl who said she was having girl problems. Yeah, they didn't believe that for a second either. So Rick went and got her and the book. They didn't suspend her, we decided the teacher had been through enough and it was almost time to go anyway. And we did have to personally pick up the book.

I let her know that I was very disappointed that instead of this being something that she and I could discuss together, she decided to make it ugly. She is the only child I know who can turn "The Body Book" into porn. 

She started out strong the first two weeks of school, but then reverted back to bullying--actually physically assaulting kids! I think something needs to be done, and I've said that. If it was my child being hit, I'd certainly want something done.

 She did finally get sent to the office one day when the teacher had had enough. But then the next day she was right back at it. And the teacher had to e-mail because there wasn't enough room in the planner to list it all!!

She's also been very manipulative and coerces food from kids. She tells them she won't be their friend if they don't give her their snack, candy from treasure box etc. Thing is, who would want someone for a friend who threatens them? That's what I don't understand. Why don't they just tell her no and report it? Are they afraid of being physically hurt? She had such a bad week last week she had to leave before the Halloween party on Friday.

I have seen her be nice, so I know she can be nice and that she understands the difference. I don't know if being nice isn't getting her the attention and shock value she craves or what. She swings both ways here at home. Today she was very cooperative in doing a few jobs around the yard so got some privileges in return. But other times this past week she has just glared at us. I try to give her a new start everyday, but that doesn't always happen because of the severity of the meanness and rudeness at school. And because I'm human, and it annoys me when I try to do something special with her and then she turn around and acts out at school.

The thing is, the other twin was doing really well until this week. He didn't start acting out right after everyone left. There was a week's gap. Then I guess math started getting hard so he just started talking, walking around, distracting people etc.  It has spiraled down the last four days. He has started acting like he doesn't know how to do stuff he's known how to do for years. 

Don't know what's up with that, but his privileges got cut to match the behaviors. Like, since you can no longer remember how to do your after school job, I will have to help you. But that means you are not acting like a fourth grader anymore so will have to go back to an earlier bedtime. (And honestly, I need the break!!) Once he gets into trouble he'll go into super pout mode about it and make it ten times worse before it gets better. So we will see if he can turn this around. I hope so because there are only the three youngest at home now and it gets boring for Jasmine when the twins lose privileges, and she has no one to do stuff with.

I know we've just had a wedding and friends visit. And I know we are coming up on holidays. But they go through spells of this kind of behavior throughout the year. They have been cut back to activities where Rick or I can watch them. For example, they can go to gymnastics class because parents are allowed to watch through the window. But they cannot go to a birthday party because that's a drop off situation at their age. And I'm not in to setting through birthday parties anyway. The thing with The Body Book caused a serious lack of trust that is going to take a while to turn around.

So, that's how our week has truly been. 

How about you?

And how do you handle kids being manipulative and mean?

How long do you give a restriction or consequence for?

Sharing Our Favorite Places

Saturday morning Hunter and  Jessica left for northern GA for three days. My mom, sister, childhood friend Juanita, her husband and daughter and our kids, including Jeff, headed to the bay. Adam was going to try and come but ended up going into work. 

It was October 25, and warm enough to kayak, paddle board and jet ski.

Ty

Ty entertaining the people on the shore

Jeff

My mom and sister standing up. Juanita and her mom sitting down. All four came down from Elkhart, IN.

Jasmine spotting for me

Kayaking with Juanita. She hadn't done it before. It's easy in the bay.

My mom with Jasmine

Mom and Kaleb

Mom and Kayla

Mom and Ty

No one thought my mom would be able to make this trip. She can barely walk and her hips are bad so travel is not comfortable for her. But she was determined to come down. I don't think she's been down since 2007 maybe. I'm glad she decided to make the trip.

We even got her on the jet ski. It was tricky, but once she was on she was fine.

Rick lifted all 91 pounds of her from the jet ski and sat her in the kayak. She didn't seem to be sore from any of it afterwards. I was just glad she was able to get out and do stuff with us.

Jeff and Kayla. Jeff started out at Fort Bliss Thursday morning and drove 20 hours pretty much straight through to get to Jessica's wedding. That was almost an hour from our house. He left Saturday from the bay to drive back. Wish he could have stayed longer.

Ari trying out the paddle board.

Ty

We got my sister on the jet ski. She really didn't have any excuses after my mom went on it!

Ari and Jasmine. Ari is about six months older and a grade ahead of Jasmine. Taller too!

Sunday my mom and sister went to Ty's church with him. Then the kids tried on various costumes, which has become kind of a ritual, for the fall festival that night at church. Aunt Lou even got in on it.

Batman on vacation

We started cookies but had to stop to go to the festival

Ty with Caleb R. who recognized the costume and wanted a picture with him. Made Ty's day.

Travis went to the festival but didn't do well with all the people and confusion. So he had a hot dog and then went back home.

We finished the cookies after the festival.

My mom, sister and Ty left early Monday morning. The rest of us met Juanita's family at another of our favorite beaches, but one we don't go to often as it's a ways away and it costs $8 a car to get in. We arrived in three different cars! The twins were not approved for Monday off of school--Kaleb due to grades and Kayla due to behavior. So Rick picked them up at noon and met us there with the kayaks.

It was sunny and 80F

Ari and her dad went on a one tank dive on the far side of the jetties.

There were a lot of large jellies along the edge of the water. Some were up on the sand, and we put them back in the water. 

With it being October 27 and a school day, there was hardly anyone there, and that was nice.

We snorkeled on the shallow side of the jetties and it was amazing. I need to get an underwater camera because it was like swimming in a tropical fish tank. So many different colors of fish, and many we haven't seen before. I don't know if it was because there were only a few of us in the water or if the tide brought them all it, but it was amazing.

Tuesday we went back to life as normal. Except that Rick has been out of work since October 1,so he's been home with me a lot of the time.

So now all of you are probably on picture overload of our family, friends and beaches! It seems kind of strange to have the wedding and everyone's visits behind us after planning for so long.