Southpole jacket, shirt, jeansWednesday, January 12, 2011
January 12
A year ago today the earthquake took place in Haiti, and a year ago today Adam turned 15. So today he is 16. We had several surprises planned but most did not work out. Some issues came up. And no, he's not driving. He needs to show responsibility in the little things first, then will come the driving.
We are celebrating tonight when everyone is together (but the twins may already be in bed) because there is no time on Wednesday that everyone is together due to dance classes and kids at two different churches. By the time Adam gets home from, Jasmine and I will be at dance. She goes right to church choir from dance. The others head off to two different churches.
A lot has happened since January 12, 2010. The obvious thing is that the twins came home January 25th. They have made good progress and are fitting in well. They show signs of attachment, although we still limit their interactions in situations that are bonding nightmares. I will talk more about the amazing progress they've made in a post on the 25th which is their one-year-home date.
Since I don't have pictures of Adam from today, I'll post a few of my favorites from the past year.
Baking with Jasmine
Easter
Knee boarding
Ready for an ocean swim
At a park
new t-shirt
with his gingerbread partner
My wishes for Adam for the coming year are:
That he finds his self worth in Christ, not in looks or charm
That he find new challenges and ways to stretch himself
That he bring his grades up not just for me, but to excel
That he connects with a circle of friends who will encourage his faith walk
That he will begin to see that God has a perfect plan tailored made just for him
I also hope that three more teens join the youth center basketball team so they will make a second team. Despite the F's and D's, I decided to give him a chance to play on the youth center team, but when we went to sign him up it was already full so they put Adam on a waiting list. If they get a few more teens signed up, they'll create a second team. But it's very close to games starting so I don't know if that will happen.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Now They are Twins
Kayla had several very short spots on her hair. Whether the hair doesn't grow there or she's done something to it, I don't know. The short hair constantly pulls out when we do braids or twists so they don't look good after only a few days. Especially since she constantly pulls at them or plays with the beads.
When she saw this picture I took of her with Kaleb she said, "Now we are twins." Well, I knew what she meant. Now they look like twins. School shirts have to be red, white or blue so we may need to put a bow in her hair!
If you didn't know one was a boy and one was a girl, could you tell? I'm not a good judge of that since I do know them well.
Ready for school.
This was actually yesterday. Today Jasmine is in Gainesville having the first adjustment to her neck. I hope this goes well and it's not uncomfortable for her or it's going to be a very long three months or so.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Playing the "What If" or "If Only" Game
Don't know about you, but I get caught up in the "What if" or "If only" game. I think this is true of anyone who has had to have a child leave their home whether for a short time, for years or permanently.
For me, it goes like this:
"What if I had understood orphanage issues better?"
"What if I'd known then what I know now about parenting?"
"What if I'd done all the bonding stuff that they say to do now?"
"What if I'd been better at separating the behaviors from the child?"
"What if I hadn't taken things so personally and gotten so angry?"
"What if I'd separated the two children who were feeding on each other's issues?"
and on the list goes.
Jeff is home, but we lost his childhood. Even the years he was with us were lost, because we were so caught up in the stealing, lying, manipulation and the games that involved other people thinking they knew what was what when they were clueless. I got to the point I couldn't see beyond the behaviors. And my girls were threatened by his friends. I didn't feel I could parent Jeff any longer. He needed a new start with someone who hadn't been through it all.
We thought it would be a year or two and he could come home and have a fresh start, but they continually said that Jeff wasn't at the point where he could make good decisions for himself. I hope he is now because he is graduated and is home. But it was only a few months ago that he had some problems there.
Now I'm getting to know him as an almost-adult rather than child. He is doing fine, but I don't know his heart. That has not changed. We talk about the trivial and the outward and not the heart. I don't know how real his faith is. He can quote you all the right verses and give you the right answers. But is it heart deep? Don't know. Not sure that I ever will. He doesn't talk about the real things. I hope his faith stays with him as he goes out into life.
Jeff is trying to enlist in the army. Easier said than done. We finally got all the papers rounded up, and he was supposed to take the ASVAB Friday, but the Navy guys got there first, and there was no room for the army guys. Jeff says the next test is the 21st--almost two weeks away. We won't even know if the army thing is going to happen until he tests.
In the meantime he is just hanging out and spending a lot of time on his new lap top. And I am trying to figure out who he is.
Without knowing how long he will be here, it's hard to make plans. He has been going to church and is in the senior class. He seems to be fitting in fine there. A few of the kids remember him from before he left.
The "what if" and "if only" games extend to another child and also other areas of my life. I try not to look back but to make the best decisions day-by-day. But it's hard. And one child is so resistant. But we push on because one day it will all click for him. He has to realize that his worth is not based on how many people he can make laugh or how many girls say he's "hot." His worth comes from being created by God, and God having created a unique plan for his life. We celebrate the gifts God gave him.
But yet, I wish I could go back and do it all over.
I have a quote on the fridge that says, "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start now and make a brand new ending." Don't know who said that. But it's kind of the same thing the Apostle Paul said, "I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." (Philippians 3)
So, do you ever play the "what if" or "if only game?" What does it look like for you?
Jeff all grown up.
At a church football activity Saturday.
For me, it goes like this:
"What if I had understood orphanage issues better?"
"What if I'd known then what I know now about parenting?"
"What if I'd done all the bonding stuff that they say to do now?"
"What if I'd been better at separating the behaviors from the child?"
"What if I hadn't taken things so personally and gotten so angry?"
"What if I'd separated the two children who were feeding on each other's issues?"
and on the list goes.
Jeff is home, but we lost his childhood. Even the years he was with us were lost, because we were so caught up in the stealing, lying, manipulation and the games that involved other people thinking they knew what was what when they were clueless. I got to the point I couldn't see beyond the behaviors. And my girls were threatened by his friends. I didn't feel I could parent Jeff any longer. He needed a new start with someone who hadn't been through it all.
We thought it would be a year or two and he could come home and have a fresh start, but they continually said that Jeff wasn't at the point where he could make good decisions for himself. I hope he is now because he is graduated and is home. But it was only a few months ago that he had some problems there.
Now I'm getting to know him as an almost-adult rather than child. He is doing fine, but I don't know his heart. That has not changed. We talk about the trivial and the outward and not the heart. I don't know how real his faith is. He can quote you all the right verses and give you the right answers. But is it heart deep? Don't know. Not sure that I ever will. He doesn't talk about the real things. I hope his faith stays with him as he goes out into life.
Jeff is trying to enlist in the army. Easier said than done. We finally got all the papers rounded up, and he was supposed to take the ASVAB Friday, but the Navy guys got there first, and there was no room for the army guys. Jeff says the next test is the 21st--almost two weeks away. We won't even know if the army thing is going to happen until he tests.
In the meantime he is just hanging out and spending a lot of time on his new lap top. And I am trying to figure out who he is.
Without knowing how long he will be here, it's hard to make plans. He has been going to church and is in the senior class. He seems to be fitting in fine there. A few of the kids remember him from before he left.
The "what if" and "if only" games extend to another child and also other areas of my life. I try not to look back but to make the best decisions day-by-day. But it's hard. And one child is so resistant. But we push on because one day it will all click for him. He has to realize that his worth is not based on how many people he can make laugh or how many girls say he's "hot." His worth comes from being created by God, and God having created a unique plan for his life. We celebrate the gifts God gave him.
But yet, I wish I could go back and do it all over.
I have a quote on the fridge that says, "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start now and make a brand new ending." Don't know who said that. But it's kind of the same thing the Apostle Paul said, "I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." (Philippians 3)
So, do you ever play the "what if" or "if only game?" What does it look like for you?
Jeff all grown up.
At a church football activity Saturday.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Happy Three Kings Day
Everyone put his or her shoe outside the door.
We always have monkey bread. Not exactly the traditional food....
Jessica reads the story of the wisemen (Three Kings)
We always have monkey bread. Not exactly the traditional food....
Jessica reads the story of the wisemen (Three Kings)
I explained more about it here:
(the link won't work so here's the address) http://casselcrew.blogspot.com/2009/01/happy-three-kings-day.html.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
December Food
Jasmine made taco soup in the crock pot.
This is an approximate recipe:
Taco Soup
Can of black beans drained
Can of kidney beans drained
Can of corn drained
14 oz can tomato sauce
Can of corn
Tomato juice (large can)
Taco seasoning
1 lb browned ground beef
Combine in crock pot and cook at least one hour
Taco Soup
Can of black beans drained
Can of kidney beans drained
Can of corn drained
14 oz can tomato sauce
Can of corn
Tomato juice (large can)
Taco seasoning
1 lb browned ground beef
Combine in crock pot and cook at least one hour
Ty made (frozen) stuffed shells, peas and garlic bread.
Jessica made lasagna. She didn't have a recipe. She just layered noodles, ricotta with an egg mixed in, mozzarella cheese and sauce.
Adam made baked chicken, sweet potatoes (they didn't come out quite right), mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts. He does well but he doesn't always read the directions all the way through. He will just read the ingredients and then mix them all together when sometimes something is supposed to be added later. It's probably a guy thing.
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