Who's Left

Most of you know that we live in the Florida panhandle. None of the panhandle kids are ones that would fit well in our family. So we are looking out of county. Our limit is 5-6 hours because we have to make so many visits. Well, it turns out that many of the boys we'd chosen are in Miami or just as far down the state on the west side. Two are in Tampa and two are in Jacksonville --a little under six hours for Tampa and a little over 4 hours for Jax. Here are the two Tampa boys and the two Jacksonville boys.

CHRISTIAN --TAMPA

Age: 15

Christian is a polite, reserved, intelligent young man. His hobbies include video games and playing basketball. His favorite subject is math and hopes to become an Architect. Christian's favorite foods are pizza and chocolate but won't turn down any food offered to him.

  PARRIS --JACKSONVILLE

Age: 13

Parris is a talkative and social young man. He is physically active and enjoys yoga and tumbling. He says that he is pretty good at a back handspring. Parris's favorite color is blue and he loves to eat Mexican food. Parris also mentioned that he enjoys attending church. Parris is open to being adopted and wants to be a part of a forever family. He would do best in a family who can provide the love, support, and structure that he needs. A family that can help Parris get involved in dance, gym, and gymnastics and help him grow in those areas. Parris wants a mom and a dad and is open to siblings.

TOMMIE-- TAMPA
Age: 13

Tommie is an active, inquisitive kid who loves family and having fun. He's a diligent student who strives for good grades and he especially enjoys reading. Tommie likes sports of all kinds but is particularly good at football and dodgeball. He's a natural leader and would make a great coach or mentor one day. Family is important to him and he is eager to become part of one!

ANTWAN--JACKSONVILLE
Age: 15

Antwan is an outgoing teen who describes himself as smart and intelligent but with a playful side. He enjoys making people happy either by making them laugh or cooking 
them a meal. He is very active and is hoping to join the track team at his school this coming year. Antwan also has a creative side which he exhibits in drama and performing R&B and gospel music. Antwan is looking for a fun and accepting family that will be there for him throughout his life. Antwan has the potential to accomplish so many great things and just needs the love and support of a committed adoptive family. He would be a joyful addition to any family!

Christian is the first one I discovered on the list. He's in a group home in Tampa. I have not made contact with his case worker. 

Tommie we are not sure about. He's young and we don't get a good feel for him from the little they say.

We fell in love with Parris' photo online, but the fact that he just turned 13, is adorable but still on the list makes us think he has issues. He is only 11 month older than the twins. We hope for the new child to be more of Jasmine's "buddy."

Antwan has become our favorite choice. He goes to church. He sings gospel music, acts and wants to run track. He sounds like a perfect match.

The problem is that he doesn't want to leave his county. 

Parris' caseworker called us today and asked us to send our home study. She can't tell me anything about him until she gets our home study, but I did tell her I have twins about a year younger and she said that wouldn't be a problem.

We have had a situation come up suddenly that we need to deal with before we decide, so please pray for that situation to be resolved.

We also have the situation with Kayla to deal with when she gets home from camp. I really feel she will work through the stealing and lying. We will be constant and supportive while that happens. Kaleb too. He just wasn't in on the last incident so does not have to go to teen court. Kayla's worker would like him to be there though so he can see what goes on. I am hoping the five weeks at mission camp will have an impact on them.

That's all our news for now.

In the next post I'll talk more about our trip, and the one Rick and Tyler are on right now.  

Adoption Progress

Or lack thereof. A little of both. I have heard that we are home study approved. I am trying to find out if that is true. In the meantime I assumed it was true and called the adoption line to get the caseworker info for the following kids. The information I really needed is where they are at. Since there will be several visits before the child will be placed in our home, I set the line at a 5-6 hour drive. It's getting late so I will post next time about which four turned out to be within the six hour drive limit. It was a bit heart breaking, and our favorite (Justin if you remember when I talked about the teens many posts back) was placed in a home several weeks ago, so he's not listed below.

Hard to choose and hoping God will open and close doors to get the right young man home to us. Many of these may not want to leave their county, so we will see what happens.

Curious, which child would you pick for yourself and which child would you pick for us?

CHRISTIAN

Age: 15

Christian is a polite, reserved, intelligent young man. His hobbies include video games and playing basketball. His favorite subject is math and hopes to become an Architect. Christian's favorite foods are pizza and chocolate but won't turn down any food offered to him.

MATTHEW
Age: 15

Matthew is a very personable and polite young man. He describes himself as "introverted, respectful, athletic and having good morals." He is hopeful that he will be placed in a family that is religious with similar morals as his. Matthew listens well, and accepts verbal redirection if given. Matthew is intelligent and smart; and is really motivated to learn. Matthew is doing very well academically and makes good grades. He hopes to attend college to major in either Criminology or History. Matthew does well in social settings; but appears shy and guarded. He enjoys sports; especially football and loves to read. He also wants a dad who likes sports (football) and who will be there for his family. He wants a mom that is kind hearted, caring and loving. Matthew really needs stability and a family to call his own. He needs parents who will be patient, provide guidance and encouragement, willing to motivate Matthew to be the best he can be! Matthew would make a great addition to any family. Are you the right family for this friendly and lovable child? If so, he is waiting for your call!

Meet DOUGLAS
Age: 13

Douglas is a Hispanic male with a beautiful personality. He is a happy teenager who enjoys outside activities. Douglas is very active and outgoing. He likes outdoor sports, bike riding and skating. He likes to play basketball and soccer. Douglas likes video games and watching movies. His favorite T.V. shows includes Digemon and W.W.E. Douglas has the ability to be a leader. He loves to be active.

Meet JORDAN
Age: 15

Jordan is a Caucasian male and he is 15 years old. Jordan is a charming young man with a lot to offer to a family. He loves playing games on the computer, and actually wants to design video games when he gets older. In addition, he loves swimming, and various water activities. There is never a dull moment with Jordan. Jordan is a laid back young man who enjoys relaxing and watching television. Jordan is quite intelligent and can ace a test with very little studying. Although Jordan is intelligent, he needs a family that will push him with his academics and make sure he does his school work and projects. Jordan is excited to have a forever family in his life.

  PARRIS

Age: 13

Parris is a talkative and social young man. He is physically active and enjoys yoga and tumbling. He says that he is pretty good at a back handspring. Parris's favorite color is blue and he loves to eat Mexican food. Parris also mentioned that he enjoys attending church. Parris is open to being adopted and wants to be a part of a forever family. He would do best in a family who can provide the love, support, and structure that he needs. A family that can help Parris get involved in dance, gym, and gymnastics and help him grow in those areas. Parris wants a mom and a dad and is open to siblings.

TOMMIE
Age: 13

Tommie is an active, inquisitive kid who loves family and having fun. He's a diligent student who strives for good grades and he especially enjoys reading. Tommie likes sports of all kinds but is particularly good at football and dodgeball. He's a natural leader and would make a great coach or mentor one day. Family is important to him and he is eager to become part of one!

JAMAL
Age: 15

Jamal is an attractive African-American male of Haitian descent. Jamal loves any activity that is outdoors. Jamal is seen as a leader among his peers and is very outgoing. Jamal is an animal lover, he especially loves dogs. He excels in school and is very intelligent. Jamal will need the encouragement and support of a forever family that values education.

ANTWAN
Age: 15

Antwan is an outgoing teen who describes himself as smart and intelligent but with a playful side. He enjoys making people happy either by making them laugh or cooking them a meal. He is very active and is hoping to join the track team at his school this coming year. Antwan also has a creative side which he exhibits in drama and performing R&B and gospel music. Antwan is looking for a fun and accepting family that will be there for him throughout his life. Antwan has the potential to accomplish so many great things and just needs the love and support of a committed adoptive family. He would be a joyful addition to any family!

Antonio is a tall male, who often hides his smile when he is shy. He is quiet and polite. He enjoys wrestling, playing football, and hanging out with his friends to play video games. Antonio is very active and would love a family that enjoys the outdoors. Antonio has a lot of energy and a lot of love to share.

Jayden is a very quiet teenager who enjoys hanging out with his friends and riding his bike. He has big dreams for the future and needs a family who will be supportive of his goals and help him work toward them. He is struggling a little in school but mostly from a lack of motivation. Jayden would do well with a family that can provide him with a strong male role model as that has been lacking from his life. If he sounds like a good match for your family, call today.

Forward We Go!

A few posts back I wrote about the counseling session and what the counselor said about us not adopting. That has been bugging me, so when I took Kayla today I asked the counselor to talk to her first. I asked if she'd talked to adoptions, and she said no. I told her that I somewhat regret giving them her info because I'd thought she would tell them that we have parented multiple children with issues, so we have some experience with it. No real answers, but experience. I told her that the stress level at home is fairly low on a day to day basis, and that if we wait until Kayla consistently makes good choices, we may never adopt again.

We are not child collecting, we have not adopted in over seven years. It seems like we are missing one last child. A boy 12-15. There are not a lot of people asking for them, and it may be some child's last chance.

Well, her response today was totally different. She said it was not her place to say whether we should be approved to adopt or not. She said she would say we are a loving family who supports their kids and has consistent boundaries. And that we get our children the help they need. But she said that she would also have to say that we have a very manipulative child, and she does not want to see an adopted child get sabotaged by the manipulation.

It turned out that we had a short notice second visit by the adoption worker today. He said they had talked to all but two of our references. He did not mention the counselor. I did not bring it up. He took a video of our house with the kids narrating for him. Then he asked about each child and asked what behaviors we absolutely could not accept in an adopted child. I will write more about that in a later blog post but I am interested as to what you the blog readers would say to that question.

The kids played Disney Princess Uno during part of it but had to leave the room while we talked about them. After he left we had supper and strawberry short cake. Now Ty and Jasmine are trying out a used juicer I got for $2. They are mixing carrots, celery, pears, strawberries and Granny Smith apples. No recipe, just random choices. Any suggestions?

In other news, we are having a blast with the shop we rented at the local flea market. More about that later.

First Home Study Visit

Remember a few days ago I posted about all the repairs we decided to do at once. Well, we didn't get them all done in time, so we hid what we hadn't finished. For example, there was a spot on the deck where the boards didn't line up quite right, so I lined up everyone's work boots on that board, and the flaw was no longer visible. Problem solved.

Our caseworker's name is Billy. Don't know his last name. But when he came in, he asked how we knew the Millers, a family we used as a reference. I said they were just down the street, and we got together at the bay for jet skiing several times a year. You've seen them in my photos.

(Josiah comes down often to see if Tyler is available because his own older siblings are all out of the house.)

It turns out that our caseworker knows the Miller family because their churches get together once a month. So we have a Christian case worker, which is nice. They are both pastors who  have small churches so work a "regular" job during the week.

At this first visit he said he was just going to do a quick walk through and get briefly acquainted, and then next time he'd talk to each of the kids. I told him the three younger ones were psyched up to talk to him, so he interviewed them one at a time. Adam, Tara, Sierra and Kealen all came in during this time. I'd made cream cheese chicken chili. It made the house smell good in case there were any pet smells. It was Three Kings day, so we had Three Kings cake with strawberries and cool whip. Later we tried it with caramel syrup. Yum.

 The caseworker said he'll look around more closely next time. I'm not sure when he comes back, but I hope we have the rest of the repairs done. Right now I am making wreaths to sell so the living room looks like Dollar Tree and Hobby Lobby threw up in it. 

Here are some of the wreaths I've done:

Diaper wreaths

 Frozen party wreath (once the little gifts are off it can be used as a holiday wreath)

Princess Valentine Wreath

I have some other updates that I'll try to get to on Wednesday.

Stalling on Paperwork for #9

As you know from previous posts, we are nearing the end of adoption class. Tonight was week 7 of 8. So next week is it. I asked the adoption coordinator tonight what we could do to make our home study go more quickly. She said, "Well, November is adoption month, so we won't be doing any new paperwork. And thennext month is the holidays, so nothing will happen that month. So if you're lucky we will get to your paperwork in January." Really? Really?????? All these kids need a home, but no one can look at our paperwork until January?

The boys we are interested in aren't getting any younger. The older ones probably figure they won't get chosen and don't know we are interested in them. Parris may. He's only 12 and adorable. I can't really post his best pictures here, but if you go HERE  it will bring up the Jacksonville heart gallery. Click on "children" at the top. Parris is the end photo on the top row. Click on his photo and it will bring up pictures on him on the beach.

When I mentioned to the adoption coordinator that the boys we wanted are probably going to get chosen before we get our home study, she said not likely. The teen boys are not often chosen. I said that one we were very interested in is only 12 and cute. She said "We don't chose a child for the family, we chose a family for the child." I told her that I realized that, but from the little on his profile, we might be a good family for him. It appears he enjoys the beach, and he's athletic.

The three things we are most interested in are: open to going to church, likes pets, likes water sports. Beyond that of course we want him to be open to new things and willing to be part of a family.

If you are new to our blog, here are our top four choices just from the list. But Florida is not the easiest state to work with, so we will see what happens. 

Parris, 12

Christian, 15

Justin, 15

Antwan, 14

Mixed Feelings about Adoption Classes

In Florida, MAPPS has been replaced by Quality Parenting Training. I think it's a better program, and the homework seems better. Haven't really done it, so not sure about that :)
In a way, it's pretty much all review since we've been through MAPPS three times, and we've also been both foster parents and adoptive parents.

The class requirements are that we have to sit in on a court hearing, and we have interview a foster parent about their experiences, talk to the schools about how to enroll a foster child or talk to a doctor's office about whether or not they accept medicaid. Well, we are foster, not adopt, so some of it will be different for us. And we did all the other stuff when we were foster parents in GA, and it can't be that different. But we will do it all anyway.

So far we have gone to four classes, and Rick, Ty and I have all been fingerprinted for our background check. We've talked about the basic stuff--trauma, cultural and racial differences, abuse, etc. 

A few weeks ago, I told one of the caseworkers that we had four older boys we are interested in. She said that since we are looking at older boys who are already in the system, our home study will get done sooner. But then last night when I mentioned to one of the other caseworkers that I hoped the boys we are interested in aren't all chosen by time we get our home study done, she said not to expect anything to happen in a hurry for us because they all have their own caseload of kids they have to get through court. 

I said I was hoping to have a child in the home by summer so that he'd have that time to get used to us before starting school. She said something like "don't count on it."

But I'd really like to transition during the summer when we are doing activities so that he gets to know us through whitewater rafting and tubing rather than having to change schools during the school year and not really having a chance to get to know us first.

If you missed our last post, these are our top choices. We started out with a long list of boys. We aren't supposed to have any more information about them than what is on the website, but someone in the system did us a favor and told us which ones have obvious issues or needs that would make us not the best family for them. Our favorite turned out to be someone who was sexually abused and as a consequence he has some behaviors that make it better for him not to be in a home with younger children. We ended up eliminating 8 boys. One of them was only because he's in Miami and that would be a 12 hour drive one way for visits.

Because it's on the website and you could simply look it up yourself, I'll include what the website says about each.

Christian is a polite, reserved, intelligent young man. His hobbies include video games and playing basketball. His favorite subject is math and hopes to become an Architect. Christian's favorite foods are pizza and chocolate but won't turn down any food offered to him.

 Justin is a fifteen-year-old white male. He is a good kid that gets along with others well. He is shy initially but warms up when he gets to know you. He likes to swim and play video games. He has a long-term goal of joining the Marine Corps. 

 Parris is a talkative and social young man. He is physically active and enjoys yoga and tumbling. He says that he is pretty good at a back handspring. Parris's favorite color is blue and he loves to eat Mexican food. Parris also mentioned that he enjoys attending church. Parris is open to being adopted and wants to be a part of a forever family.

 Antwan is an outgoing teen who describes himself as smart and intelligent but with a playful side. He enjoys making people happy either by making them laugh or cooking them a meal. He is very active and is hoping to join the track team at his school this coming year. Antwan also has a creative side which he exhibits in drama and performing R&B and gospel music. Antwan is looking for a fun and accepting family that will be there for him throughout his life. Antwan has the potential to accomplish so many great things and just needs the love and support of a committed adoptive family. He would be a joyful addition to any family!



The thought of adding one of these boys or a different one to our family both excites and scares me!!

Five Years Home

January 2010

Right after the earthquake, we were interviewed for a local TV station. At that time we thought the adoption would be delayed even more because our paperwork was buried in the court building.

At Sanford airport. We were so excited to see the kids arrive because we were silly enough to think that meant we'd be taking them home that day. Or even the next day.

Our paperwork had been in process 972 days by then!!

Watching the video of the kids deplaning and trying to pick out the children.

Kids had been at the airport a full day and we hadn't been allowed to see them yet. We all went to the doors to protest.

I'm smiling, but I'd led the group to the doors (where we weren't allowed) to demand to see the children, so I was determined to succeed. And really, we were all sooooo bored. This is a tiny airport with only one small terminal so there was nothing to do but sit and wait.

They let us in. I'd love to say the kids were glad to see us, but in reality they were tired and cranky and had spent all that time attaching to red cross and other workers in the holding area.

When we tried to interact with them, they screamed in our faces. This was Sunday night, and I'd last slept Thursday night. (couldn't sleep in the hotel room Friday night--the night before the kids arrived. I laid there for a long time, finally just drifted off to sleep and someone called, and I couldn't go back to sleep at all after that. So I guess I had about ten minutes sleep that night so don't really count it.)

So this was not a good time for any of us.

They were okay until we were told to pick them up and hold them, and then the screaming started.

And then one of our people started yelling at me because I couldn't calm them down and a person who'd been with them for two days came over and started talking to them.

Our worker yelled at me for allowing someone else to interact with them when I'd been ordered to hold them and bond. She was also yelling at me because I couldn't get them to stop screaming and most of the other kids were calm. Only one other screamer in the group and she'd calmed down. Most of the kids willingly went to their adoptive parents so I was feeling a bit jealous too.  Kayla always took a while to warm up on trips, and Kaleb would follow her lead.

 I asked our worker to remove the person who was trying to interact with the twins while I was holding them. I'd already requested that but naturally the other person wanted to take the twins from me and calm them down.

With no sleep in days, sitting in the airport for over 30 hours and the stress of the situation, it really took A LOT of control for me to not say a whole lot of ugly stuff to our person (who should have been supporting and helping me but wasn't. And yeah, she gotten sleep unlike the rest of us.)

So I walked away and locked myself in the one-person bathroom for a few minutes. By then everything was looking blurry and shades of purple, and I was ready to fall on my head. This was Sunday night. The third day since I'd slept (other than that ten minutes).

Sunday early all the kids going on to Colorado had been put on the plane and flown to CO. They were supposed to leave earlier but the pilot had to sleep. There was a whole large group going to the same community so they were processed there. The rest of us had to stay at Sanford and wait for immigrations. They worked through the night Saturday night processing the paperwork for the CO group.

A really nice lady started calling families one at a time Sunday morning, and it was moving right along for the rest of us. Each family went back for a quick interveiw and to sign paperwork and were sent home with their children. She left around noon and an evil man from you-know-where came. He stopped the whole process and said he needed to read every file to make sure we were suitable parents for these children. That was NOT his job. His only job was to check that the immigration papers were the right ones for each child and that the child was being given to the right parent. Paperwork stopped for about 9 hours.

It turned into a nightmare. He was verbally abusive. He threatened to send all of the children to a group home to be held while he decided if we'd get to take them home or not and so on. People were trying to call congressmen, senators, anyone who would help. There was one who did try to help and that is probably the only reason the kids weren't sent into foster care in FL.

I annoyed the homeland dude by telling him I needed to get home because one of my children (Jasmine) was going to have surgery the next day, and I wanted to see her before she left with Rick for the hospital. So I got to go either last or next to last. Don't remember now. But it was 1:20 a.m. Monday when we finally cleared. So I was up all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday with no sleep. We only drove a little ways (obviously) before getting a hotel. We went to bed at 3:05 a.m. Monday January 25th. 

Leaving the airport.

They woke up in the car, and it was very interesting to watch them. They were loaded on the airplane in Haiti and unloaded at Sanford near Orlando. So really they'd never seen anything but their orphanage and the hotels were  we'd stayed on our visits. Suddenly we Were driving through Orlando at night with all the bright lights on hotels, bars, restaurants etc. Their eyes were so wide trying to take it all in. I'm sure they were totally overwhelmed.

 When we got them to the hotel, we had to bathe them even though it was after 2 a.m. They were filthy, and their names and ours were written all over them in permanent marker. On their arms and back.

The next day.

We didn't wake up until 10:00 so missed the hotel breakfast.

We drove six hours more home with some stops to let them run and got home in the evening. The television reporter was waiting at the house. At least the twins had resigned themselves to being with us and weren't crying!! We carried them in, though, since we weren't sure how they'd react to being in our house with all the kids and the reporter. They interviewed Jessica and I. We were pretty hyper from only the one night of sleep.

2011

One year home

2012

Two years home

2013

Three years home

 2014

Four years home

 2015

Five years home

I bought the chinese, and Adam bought the rice krispies cake.

You can read our original homecoming post HERE